Signed, Trust Me On This One

Dear thirteen year old self,
This year is going to be a big one, so here's some advice to help get you through it.

1.  Spend as much time as you can with family. It's amazing to see how fast they can be taken from you.
2.  Don't worry about drama at school. It all blows over eventually.
3.  Life's too short. Order the fries.
4.  Being 'popular' is overrated. Instead, try to be the person that's nice to everyone.
5.  Never give up on something that you're passionate about.
6.  Don't ever think that just because you aren't someone's first choice, that you aren't a great choice.
7.  It's not cool to sneak out. Nothing's open at 3am and its not like you can really brag about it anyway.
8.  Don't be afraid of change. It will make you a stronger person.
9.  Don't be afraid to express yourself. This world would be a much more boring place if we were all the same.
10. You may not be perfect, but you don't need to be. Flaws make you beautiful.
11. Don't ever lower your standards to make someone meet your expectations.
12. Kisses are like tears. The only real  ones are the one's you can't hold back. Don't waste them.
13. Accept challenges. If you win, you feel the exhileration of victory. If you lose, you've learned something.
14. Don't get good at pretending to be something you're not. Get good at being you.
15. If a boy truly loves you, he won't have to unbutton your shirt to have a better view of your heart.
16. Stand up for what you believe in or you'll fall for anything.
17. Be up to trying new things. You'll be surprised how much you can end up liking something new.
18. Don't be afraid to say you're sorry. Apologizing doesn't always mean you're wrong and the other person is right. It just means that you value your relationship more than your ego.
19. Appreciate things. The more time you spend complaining about your life, the less time you have to live it.
20. Don't assume the people you love know it. Tell them often.
21. Don't hesitate to help someone in need and never laugh at someone's misfortune. Karma  is something you always want on your side.
22. In your life you'll do greater things than dating a boy on the football team. The majority of them are douchebags anyway..
23. Always look before you fall.
24. Sometimes the funnest thing you'll end up doing is something completely unexpected. Don't fear the unknown.
25. Staying up late doesn't make you cool, it makes you tired. Get some sleep.
26. Remember to thank God for everything He has blessed you with.
27. Never let the fear of failure keep you from trying.
28. Don't feel like you always have to follow the crowd. There isn't anything wrong with having a backbone.
29. Learn to laugh at yourself before others have the chance to.
30. Everything happens for a reason and works out for the best.

Mantra

August is admit you're happy month.
August is admit you're happy month.
August is admit you're happy month.
Smile. Smile. Smile. Smile. Smile.
Laugh. Nod. Smile.
Cause big girls don't cry...

I.... I don't know.

"Did you ever notice how, when someone tells you that you've changed, its because you've stopped acting the way they want you to?"



Honestly, I feel like I've changed quite a lot this summer. I've become much more responsible, taking on all of the housework during the day while my parents are at work and helping with a tennis camp held by my coach. I'm much more family-oriented, spending many, many weekends with both my imediate and extended family. And I'm much more confident, meeting many new people each week and becoming comfortable with my body. I've even done something I've been scared to do for most of my life - get my hair drastically cut. I got six inches off! I'm so proud of myself! I'm closing in on my senior year and am convinced that it will be my best year of high school yet. Ever since I was little, I've wanted to become a teacher and this school-year I will be doing a share-time. This means I will spend half of my day in my regular classes, and the second half in a classroom as a teacher's aid! It's impossible to describe how excited I am to start with the little kids! I also hope to be taking pre-calc (as recomended by my cousin who is a calculus teacher) and am considering taking another art class.

But, with all of these changes has come quite the bit of drama...

Because my boyfriend plays tennis and will be nearly impossible to get ahold of for the first three or so months of school, we have been trying to get as much time together as we possibly can this summer. This was upsetting a few friends of ours and caused quite the chaos for awhile... The drama is over now, but honestly, I still don't see what the problem was in the first place. I understand why my boyfriend's friends were mad at him, they were mad that he wasn't coming to their Youth Group anymore. But I really don't see why my friends were mad at me. I mean, none of them ever asked me to hang out. And if they did, not once did I say that I couldn't because I was planning to be with my boyfriend. I honestly don't feel like I was really missed by anyone... I don't know... I'm really not mad about it anymore, but I just feel like I still need to vent my feelings about all of this, because, really, I have no one to talk to about it other than my boyfriend. I feel like I can't even have an honest conversation with my closest friends anymore... *sigh*.

Who knows, maybe its just me, but I really feel like I only have one friend anymore...